Your life matters. It’s a one shot around this amazing spinning globe. Life is precious and rare in our end of the galaxy. Make the most of it. Enjoy it. Do good. Make the world and someone’s life a little better for your passing. Just don’t let your ego fool you into thinking you’re so darn important.  Shelley wrote the following famous poem reminding us of just this very thing:

Ozymandias

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: `Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear –
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.’
—Percy Bysshe Shelley

A more modern version might be “all we are is dust in the wind…” by Kansas

Anyway, as we ponder the transience of life, there are a few folks who’ve left their final mark on their headstones as follows:

Guest Blogger: Katrina Wride Van Wagenen

Most of the people I know and interact with are awesome, and I don’t say that lightly.

The make of your car, the size of your home, or the brand of your clothes means nothing to me. It’s what your personality, character, and whether or not you can laugh at yourself, that speaks volumes of AWESOMENESS to me.

Sharing your experiences of trials, pain, acceptance, and endurance that shows me who you are. Keep on going, brighten your day and someone else’s. Make a go to list of things that make you awesome, and things that bring a smile to your face when life seems a tad overwhelming, or hugely overwhelming.

I have such lists, and they are a Godsend in my life. It only takes a moment or two, to jot down the things that bring a smile to your face, or warm your heart.

Here’s part of my two lists:

What Makes Me Awesome:

• I have a very loving family
• I’m surrounded daily by the most amazing friends on the planet
• I’m a superb cook
• I’m a superb interior designer
• I know how to get almost anything I want for a huge fraction of the price, or free
• I know God loves me
• I understand color and texture
• I throw beautiful fun parties
• I can make a mean fire in all kinds of weather
• I survive bitter experiences and I always manage a smile or a good laugh in spite of it
• I love to learn
• People smile and laugh around me, so I must be doing something right;)
• My children adore me
• My baking skills make mouths water
• I’m well read
• I’m okay with cereal and icecream for dinner on those kinds of days:D
• I love engaging and being around people

Okay bored yet?

My Happy List:

• Spontaneous interaction with friends
• Chocolate in any form
• Cokes and pebble ice
• Water—seeing it, swimming in it, listening to it, touching it—inspires me
• Go for a long walk
• Turn on Harry Potter audio, and get some chores done
• Walking through furniture consignment stores
• Eating ice cream
• Laughing, cooking for, and entertaining friends
• Going for a few days in a cabin tucked away somewhere
• Hot bath, good book, and some warm tea
• Pero, and hazelnut creamer
• Reading a home decor magazine
• A new pair of jeans
• Browsing an old book store
• Browsing ANY book store ;)
• “You might be a redneck” comedy with Jeff Foxworthy
• Long drive, listening to the symphony, self-help audio, or nothing at all
• Yoga
• Just being(sometimes I pull my car over on the side of the road, lean all the way back and notice the sky, and think to myself what it would be like to live there, where they have the beautiful sky, even though it might be my own neighborhood.ps I live in my car I swear)
• Grab a quilt, a sandwich, chips, drinks, books, magazines, and a few pillows and lay out on the grass, sometimes I sleep;)

Anyways there’s a few ideas. xoxo friends!!! And remember you are ALL AWESOME!!!!!!

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This is what I do in church. I doodle and sketch to entertain myself and my children. It actually helps me pay attention. Doodling can do that for ADHD folks like me.

A Facebook friend said, “I use this when challenged by young kids using the “why? why? why?” tactic. They go all zen when I ask “why not?”

I love that. Of course, another fav to “Why?” is “Because” which to me is a really great answer that is also quite Zen. And that reminds me of a story.

My dad years ago was mowing the lawn one day. We had a big lawn. The area in the back would often go uncut for several weeks at a time and get quite long. He mowed a circle in the lawn, called my mom out to show her and when she asked, “Why did you mow a circle in the lawn?” he replied in simple sincerity, “Because a circle is a nice thing to have.”

Indeed.

The value of just “is”
There was a time as children when “because” was a good enough reason to do things. I’ve noticed that as adults we have been conditioned to the idea that everything has to have a productive reason behind it for it to be worth doing. While I have zero problem with productivity or reasons for things, I do have a problem when everything “must” have a purpose or reason. Too many of my clients have gotten snared in the DOING trap where they always have to be doing something for their life to be justified. We practice balancing out DOING with just BEING. Drawing just to draw, mowing circles just because circles are nice things to have, and just relaxing with a good book are all examples of BEING just for the sake of BEING.

Back to circles…
Before I knew anything about mindfulness practices, stress-management, Zen or Taoism, I just knew my dad. He was frequently just naturally quite Zen. His lawn circle was the first “enso” I had seen, not realizing what I had seen. Japanese Zen calligraphists draw this special type of circle called an enso:

What is “Enso”?
An “enso” is a sumi-e (brushed ink on rice paper) painting of a circle. These simple paintings were popular expressions of spiritual vision and discipline among the Zen monks during Japan’s Edo period (18th Century). Zen painting from this time is usually refered to as “Zenga.” Bell Labs’ Lucent Technologies division has most recently brought the enso to the public eye with their red enso logo.

Where does it come from?
The enso is created when the Zen calligrapher (traditionally a monk) takes a large sumi brush full of ink while meditating on the emptiness of the blank paper. At the decisive “perfect moment,” the monk quickly lays out the circle on the page. The circle contains both the perfection of the expressive moment and the imperfections of the ink, page and brush. Outcomes vary from thin, smooth, nearly perfect circles to fat, rough squares, triangles and spirals.

What does it mean?
The dynamic circle of the enso symbolizes many Zen ideas. On the surface, it may represent the full moon, the empty tea cup, the turning wheel, the eye or face of the Buddha or the monk Bodhi Daruma, the dragon chasing its tail, and other poetic visual symbols. On a deeper level, the circle may symbolize the emptiness of the void, the endless circle of life, and the fullness of the spirit. Deeper still is the representation of the circle as the moment of enlightenment (satori), the moment when the mind is free enough to simply let the body or spirit create, the moment when the perfection of the circle is committed to the emptiness of the page, and the moment of the chaos that is creation.

Each enso shows the expressive movement of the spirit in time.
—Brad Sims. Thanks to Brad for his permission to use this quote on my original site.

The enso concept influenced me greatly. So much so that I included an enso as part of my zhong character (“middle/balance/center”) when my business went by the name “Bardos Relationship Consulting.” So much of what I do in my work centers around finding that balance inwardly with ourselves and outwardly in our relationships with others.

The sacred in the mundane
So, I encourage you to look around. This is a good mindfulness and stress-mastery practice. Notice the simple things in your life. Can you find wonder and awe in their simplicity? As you do, and by doing so, you will experience the sacred in the midst of the mundane. And as you experience that you will experience increased peace and decreased stress.

—[ Please share YOUR experiences with BEING and/or finding the sacred in the mundane... ]—

Last night in bed Kara looks at my pathetically hammered headphones (thanks kids!) that I had temporarily fixed with Gorilla Tape (think duct tape on steroids) and commented that she should’ve gotten me some new ones for Christmas. I told her, with a boyish twinkle in my eye she’s familiar with, “Oh, no! Thanks, but I’m glad you didn’t because I have plans for these.” She knows me well enough to know that if anyone can fix something and make something last that I can.

There’s an old pioneer saying I’ve always admired that goes as follows:

Use it up, wear it out,
make it do or do without.”

The modern-day version being:

Reuse. Repurpose. Recycle.”

Thus, this morning in 10 minutes with a few rivets and a saved bracket from a prior project I not only have very sturdy and highly functional headphones (saved from the landfill, and money saved in my pocket) I also have a simple and enjoyable, “Cool! Look what I did!” sense of pride.

Then there’s Kara. No one can find a deal like Kara. She is one of the most well-dressed (read: smokin’ hot!) people I know. She stays fashionable and current. Always lovely. She wears nice clothes of fine quality. She can walk out of pricey Banana Republic with a an excited gleam in her own eye for some ridiculously awesome deal she found: She wears $300 outfits for which she’s paid $30. How does she do this? She has a careful eye for great fashion, high quality and awesome deals combined with the patience and contentment to wait for just the right moment to pounce. “Instant gratification” is not in her vocabulary. “Wisdom,” “ingenuity” and “cleverness” are though.

Speaking of which, she is one of the most contented people I know. She’s said many times, “I can have it all, just not all at once.” This is good, because for most of our marriage it was tiiiight financially.

To further illustrate her resourcefulness, one of our grad school friends, who were also as dirt poor as we were, had near-to-nothing left in their cupboard. She asked Kara to come over to help her figure out dinner because, “Kara can make something out of nothing!” It’s true. No matter how poor we’ve been we’ve always eaten extremely well.

As a team, we’ve taken pride in our ability to figure things out. In our house, you frequently hear the above quotes above along with the following:

Make the best with what you’ve got.”

The fine art of ‘making do’.”

and

Necessity is the mother of invention.”

For us, individually and as a couple, frugality, contentment and creativity have done a lot to strengthen not only our characters but also our marriage.

In the age of excess we live in there is still (fortunately) plenty of room for, and plenty need of, frugality.

Q: What correlates do you see in this frugal/resourceful principle in regards to your relationships with partner and children?
Give your answer below…

I teach mindfulness practices and mindsets to my clients. I am grateful for the power these skills have had in my life for reducing stress and in some areas removing it completely, and for it’s impact in increasing joy in family life and the enjoyment of life in general.

This video is a perfect demonstration of mindfulness in action. Mindfulness is a concept learned from Zen which if looked for you will find at the center of all spiritual traditions.