Today I did a survey of local teen girls (at lunch today with my daughty and her bestie, both 15-years-old—a super small survey!) asking them, “How do you know when a relationship is healthy or unhealthy?”

See their answers below and please answer the following questions:

Q: 1. What do you tell your kids about distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy, safe/unsafe, good/bad relationships?

—OR—

Q: 2. What do you wish you knew as a teen that you know now?

—OR—

Q: 3: Do you agree with the girls’ answers? What would you add or change?

Healthy		Unhealthy
“If you can work together.”		“Beating up verbally, emotionally or physically.”
“Not fighting a lot.”		“Fear telling others about being abused. Afraid to reach out for help.”
“Go out on dates weekly like you and mom. Reminds each other that you are still in love, and that you make time for each other.”		“Fearful.”
“Can tell each other anything.”		“Gossip. Bad-mouthing partner to others behind her/his back.”
“Need to have a good relationship with yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.”		“If you don’t love yourself you might take out your own flaws on your partner.”
“Accept who you are. You are made to be you and not someone else.”
“Use ‘I messages.’ We learned about those in Teen Living. They are a more respectful way to talk about your problems with each other.”		“When you use ‘You messages’ your partner feels attacked and they get defensive.

Q: 1. What do you tell your kids about distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy, safe/unsafe, good/bad relationships?

—OR—

Q: 2. What do you wish you knew as a teen that you know now?

—OR—

Q: 3: Do you agree with the girls’ answers? What would you add or change?

 

adolescents, advice, Communication, healthy relationships, Teens, unhealthy relationships